1. Hello space man, Acrylic on wood, August 2009
18″ by 24″
Notes from my 18 year old self: I live in my brain, well my mind.. in these day dreams.. that can only my explained threw paintings like these..
Notes from my 31 year old self: I painted this piece the summer after I graduated high school. I was working on a found footage project documenting my friends I called “Hopelessly F*cked”. I spent weekends in hull and most weekdays drinking 26oz of vanilla vodka and a 2L of coke and was getting ready to start university. I would paint most days, usually hungover and between working at the hospital. I saw a lot of death those days and found solace in painting from my subconscious. I knew I wasn’t in a good place but was between two stages and just trying to survive and numb the pain I had from social pressures, family matters and being very hard on myself.
Status: Lost in the abyss of my studio.
2. Nipples, Acrylic on wood, Mai 2009
22.5″ by 30″
Notes from my 18 year old self: Her nipples are wierd for a reason.. that reason being that ive never seen nipples like that.. they kind of remind me of satelites trying to get reseption. I used to love my work.. look at it and be ”well thats lovely” I dont anymore, i paint and give them to my mom, (well leave them in the kitchen for her to do something with them) i guess its a good thing, there getting so personal it makes me uncomfortable.. like reading old pages from my diary.. just awkward..
Notes from my 31 year old self: As a new mom, I can honestly say that my nipples, due to breast feeding and pumping, kinda look like this painting I did in my last months of high school. I had the most typical 2000’s ninth grade experience. A charming and handsome boyfriend, school dances and lunches on the grass, good friends and long walks across town. In 10th grade I decided to change things up and auditioned to an art school a town over in Ottawa. I got in and I truly credit the experience for shaping me as a young artist. They really did let me get away with a lot for the time and the teachers made me feel like I wasnt stupid, something I truly believed before changing schools and helped me push my creativity. Fun fact I am the only one that I know of at that time that got away with painting breasts and getting them showcased in the schools lobby.
Status: At my moms.
3. To Feel, Acrylic on Drawing Board, October 2009
Notes from my 18 year old self: I never finished this thing.. i know i shouldnt admit to this but it made me cry.. I hate detail. i think its over rated.. but really nice dont get me wrong. I used to never put faces in my work cause i didnt want to associat emotions, or ppl with my work.. but now thats all i do. i guess im pist and secretly want to convey a message. ironic. how people change.. So this lady, well she got bit my cougo (cogo.. i dont know how to write his name) ANYWAYS and how shes dying.. and theres smoke or black swirls coming out of her mouth.. i dont know why.. maybe she was ashamed. maybe she lied alot.. and now dying, she cant express how she always felt.. maybe.. who knows.. A teacher once told me, that once you finished a painting (or a piece) and you signed your name, it was no longer yours.. but everyones to judge.. I beleive that. Thats why it pisses me royaly of when your drawing and ppl are like ” what is it!?” God i dont know.. its like a freakn diary dont ask questions.. just feel. People dont feel enough.
Notes from my 31 year old self: I painted this on a stolen drawing board I forgot to return after graduating high school. I thought it was a piece of wood and when I realized what I had done… it was too late. This piece is finished in my eyes now, I can see the pain I was going through at the time. I was mid semester in my first year of University studying film studies while trying to have a social life and work. Now thinking back on those times everything is a little blurry.
Status: I haven’t seen this piece in over 10 years.. I’ll keep you posted if she is found.
4. Popped, Acrylic on canvas, November 2008
16″ by 20″
Notes from my 17 year old self: This was a present for and inspired by my amazing aunt Sophie-Anne expecting her first child with my uncle Jug.
Notes from my 31 year old self: My uncle Jug passed away last year. He left us two amazing and brilliant daughters. I miss him everyday, he was an amazing father. And now being a parent I wish he could have met my son.
Status: Was given as a present to the expecting couple.
5. Exam on Womanhood, Acrylic on Canvas Boards, March 2008
Notes from my 16 year old self: These painting were created for a final exam as well as used in Kariane’s theatre piece i felt really blessed she approached me to use them.
Notes from my 31 year old self: For someone who never showed their own body I sure liked to paint them when I was a little grasshopper. You have to remember the pressure to be small were at it’s peek when I was in high school. I wanted to showcase the curves that made women beautiful. I am really proud of my younger self for painting with conviction and to create a reaction. Art is subjective and as long as you get a reaction, good or bad, as an artist you have done your job.
Status: Lost in the abyss, stay tuned!